When I ask the question "How do you schedule your day?" Does your mind go to this?
Disclaimer: The picture above is a picture from a Google search, not my actual patient schedule
Or does your mind go to this???
Neither way is wrong, but if you immediately thought about the first option, maybe you should take a day off of work.
What I want to blog about today is the second option, and how important keeping a schedule for your personal life is.
When I was single, I used to fly by the seam of my pants and there were no repercussions. If I missed something minor or didn't schedule anything that wasn't important into my day, it didn't matter as much if I forgot about it.
When you get married, although you two are together, you still have separate lives. You both go to work and come home and then either do your own thing or decide to do something together. You don't have to worry about penciling in things like dates and nights out with friends. You can just pack up and go if you choose.
When you have a baby, scheduling is key. It is probably the most important thing you can do to keep your sanity throughout the day. You have to plan date nights with your spouse a week in advance so you can coordinate with a grandparent or babysitter. When you decide to take your baby out with you, it is almost the most important thing to make sure the diaper bag is packed full and stocked with diapers, wipes, toys, snacks, bibs, extra outfits, etc....
I hate to break it to you, but when you have a baby your life changes completely whether you want it to or not. And the key to happiness and maintaining your sanity is.......(drumroll.............((if you haven't figured it out yet by the introduction...........)))
SCHEDULING!!!
I cannot tell you in a single blog post how important scheduling is for your mental health AND your marriage. Children are like a tornado or category 5 hurricane. No matter what kind of foundation and relationship you have built, they will test the structure of it and find out what it takes to make it crumble to the ground.
There's a reason that over 50% of marriages end in divorce. What do you think happens? I really have a hard time believing that 50% of people that walk up to the altar don't really like each other very much but get married anyways???
NO!!!!
People get married because they love and care for each other. This couple has stronger feelings for each other than they have ever felt for any other human being in their lifetime. They want to spend the rest of their life with that person and no one else. They would do anything for this person.
For some couples, they just "fall out of love" and that blazing roaring forest fire of love and passion has been extinguished. There is nothing left but ash and smoke. Some people marry someone and expect them to change during the marriage to the person they want them to become. When they don't, the whole purpose of the marriage is defeated and it fails. And for some people, it isn't either party that causes the divorce. It's the kids....
Marriages will be tested when kids are born, no matter how ready or not you are for them. My wife and I started arguing over the dumbest things. There's a reason why making someone stay awake and not sleep is a form of torture. And for all of you reading this that pulled "all-nighters" during school, there's a difference between staying up due to your own free will and choice, and staying up against your own free will and choice. If you ask any parent what the worst part about having children is, the majority will tell you, it's the sleepless nights. I've ran three marathons and none of them were as mentally taxing and exhausting as those sleepless nights.
"I've ran three marathons and none of them were as mentally taxing and exhausting as those sleepless nights."
If you told me right now that if I ran a marathon tomorrow, my next kid would sleep through the night every single night, I would say "what time do I need to be at the starting line?"
Having routines and schedules will decrease stress, save fights and arguments over the little things, and bring much needed structure to what can become a very disorganized day. These routines won't just help you, they will help your son or daughter have a more organized and predictable day too. If your child always takes a nap between 1-2pm and they are starting to act fussy around 1:30 while you are out running errands, you can pretty much guarantee that they are tired and need to go down for that nap to resolve the issue. If they start crying around 5:30pm while you are with friends and they usually eat dinner between 5-5:30, maybe it's time to get them some food. It takes a lot of the guessing out of what your child needs and that alone can make your day so much more manageable and easy to get through (with a lot less crying and temper tantrums I might add).
I have to credit my wife with starting the whole routine thing from almost the very beginning of our son's life. At first I thought to myself "routines are dumb and overrated". Boy was I wrong. Incorporating a daily schedule and routine with our son was the best thing we could ever do. It quickly became second nature to know what our son wanted before he got super fussy or started screaming. I also feel that having this schedule from the beginning also made it easier to transition and change the schedule as he got older. From being weened off breastfeeding every 2 hours to bottles 4 times a day; to trying real food, to three square meals a day; all the way to developing that circadian rhythm of sleeping through the night.
If you've got a category five hurricane for a child and getting through your day feels like the image below:
Try adding some structure by developing a schedule and a routine for not just yourself, but your kids as well.
For more tips and strategies on business and life please check out my other blogs and podcasts available at http://dds-dad.blogspot.com/. Not all my posts are about dentistry, some are about the general principles of running a business, saving for retirement, keeping a positive mentality, and being the best parent and spouse you can be while having a full time career. I'm no expert by any means, but I do want to help you improve in ALL areas of life, not just what you do between people's nose and chin.