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How to Speak So Patients Will Listen Tom Hopkins

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We’ve all heard the old cliché, “It’s not what you say that matters – it’s how you say it that counts.” When trying to motivate patients to take better care of their teeth, mouths and gums, “what you say” is the foundation from which you figure out how to say it. So, we can’t ignore that aspect of communication.

As a highly skilled dental professional, you think and act according to the particulars of your training. Understanding and using the terminology specific to dentistry is like knowing a foreign language. In fact, it is foreign to the vast majority of your patients. Very few of your patients will know what deciduous teeth are or the numerical notations used in your practice every day.

Even though dental shorthand is helpful when making notes and communicating with your hygienist or other staff members, it confuses patients. And, when patients are confused, they either tune you out or start building walls of resistance between you and them as if you just landed on the planet and have antennae sprouting from the top of your head. Neither of those situations is good for your practice. Your goal is to communicate with your patients in such a way as to draw them to you – to build their trust in you and want to do as you advise.

After all, you invested many years of your time and a lot of money to develop your expertise. If you don’t know how to “sell” it to others, you won’t be anywhere near as successful as you could be. And by “success” I’m referring both to personal success in helping a large number of patients benefit from your services and the financial success you can achieve with strong revenue-generating practices.

Knowing that the use of that term “sell” in the previous paragraph might have sent a shudder down your spine, from this point forward, I will refer to what you do as “getting patients involved in your services.” Do you feel the difference those words make? I took your mental picture of either fear or some other negative emotion related to the word “selling” and created a positive mental image of you helping your patients enjoy the results of your work. That’s really what you want to have happen, right?.

All words create mental pictures in our minds. When I have you read the word “tree” here you might have a mental picture of a giant oak tree come to mind. The people sitting next to you might picture a pine or an orange tree. It doesn’t matter. The point is that no one pictures the letters T.R.E.E. in their mind when I refer to a tree. Our minds work in pictures and those pictures create emotions. The emotions generate thoughts which cause people to take certain actions. My goal in this article is to get you to pay attention to the pictures you create in the minds of your patients directing the actions they cause. Those actions might include having specific dental treatments or they might involve doing a better job of brushing and flossing at home.

We’ll review some standard dental terms that probably turn your patients off and go over some more acceptable (and less threatening) options for replacement terms. In my basic sales training programs, I refer to the negative terms as being fear-producing or in some cases “the nasty words.” The outcome of using them is to create fear and possibly rejection of whatever is being “sold.” They contribute mighty bricks to the wall of sales resistance that keeps people from making wise and prudent decisions regarding their dental health.

I would suggest having everyone on your staff refer to the list of terms here and to begin using the positive, acceptance-building terms as soon as possible. You might even challenge your staff members to come up with additional terms that might give your clients new ways of saying those things. Make a game of it. Reward your staff members for using the new terms with the additional revenue you’ll have from patients who feel good about what you say and take action to follow your advice.

Appointment – The mental image of this word for most people is that of a calendar. The feeling it often generates is that of “inconvenience.” They have to carve time out of their daily schedules in order to see you. Even though most of your patients will believe seeing you is a necessary thing, for many the initial reaction to setting an appointment will be that it’s an interruption of their normal schedule – their habitual routine – that feels very comfortable to them. Even though they might be in your office less than an hour, they have to include time for driving to your location and back to whatever this appointment took them from.

For some people they will be taking time off work to come to see you. For others, they will take time off work, pick up little Billy from school so he can see you, take him back (maybe with a detour through McDonalds because having dental work makes kids hungry) and then going back to work themselves. That could involve half a day of inconvenience.

Of course you will have patients who are enthusiastic about their dental health and look forward to their routine examinations. However, as you know, they are the minority.

The word “appointment” makes most of your patients wonder when and how this can be most convenient for them. If you don’t have evening or weekend hours, there may not be a super convenient time for them. Do you feel the stress that one word that is so common to your practice can create?

So, I’m going to ask you to try using a different word. Substitute the word “visit” for “appointment.” What comes to mind when you think of visiting someone? It’s usually something positive, isn’t it? It generates a softer emotional response in your mind and body … and it will for your patients as well. “Mrs. Smith, it’s time for Billy to visit with Dr. Tim again. He has time available next Thursday at 7 a.m. or Friday at 3:30 p.m. Which would be most convenient for you?”

Problem – No one wants to have one, do they? Never say, “Sally, there’s a problem with that incisor and we need to fix it right away.” That makes you sound like a car mechanic. Try the word “challenge” instead. “Sally, the last thing I would want to have happen is for you to have an emergency situation arise with this incisor (pointing to X-ray) at a time that is inconvenient for you. Since it’s impossible to predict when that challenge might arise, why don’t we arrange a convenient visit within the next 10 days to take care of it?” Feel the difference? So will Sally.

Cost – The word “cost,” for most people, generates the image of money leaving their wallets or credit card bills increasing. Yuck! Never use that word or allow your staff to use it either. Replace it with the word “amount” or “total amount.” They know you’re talking about the amount of money but it creates a kinder, gentler image and a usually more proactive response. People know your services aren’t free. But they just don’t create the kind of memories a trip to the amusement park would (with that same money).

Down Payment or Monthly Payment – If any of your patients are in a situation where they need to make multiple “payments” for your services and you make that option available to them, please refer to them as “initial amounts” and “monthly amounts.”

Extraction – This is a fun mental image, isn’t it? Hopefully, you already refrain from using this word within earshot of patients. When you are speaking with them or within their hearing range, use “remove” or as one oral surgeon I know of says, “sneak them out.” His focus is on taking care of the little buggers causing the challenge for the patient – the results the patient will have of no future pain from those teeth – rather than on the discomfort of the actual removal and healing process.

Sign – As in paperwork. Take into consideration the mental images of “signing on the dotted line” and “signing your life away” or mom and dad’s admonition to “never sign anything without reading the fine print.” Rather than allow those negative mental images to permeate the minds of your patients, use the terms “approve,” “authorize,” “endorse” or “okay.” “If you’ll just okay the paperwork, Marvin, we’ll get you taken care of as quickly and easily as possible.”

If you just want to have a little fun with people, ask them for their autographs. If it fits your personality, smile and say, “I’d like to help you enjoy a moment of fame, Mrs. Johnson, by asking for your autograph right here.” Point to the paperwork. Keep smiling. She will smile, too. And, she’ll give you her signature. It happens all the time.

Cheaper, Cheapest – As you know, with fillings and crowns there are options for those treatments. If your patient is concerned about the “amount” required for these various services, never refer to the lowest cost version as being “cheaper” or “the cheapest.” The mental image for that term can be something that is of poor quality. Instead use the terms “more economical” or “most economical.”

Many words in the English language have more than a single meaning. Once you start thinking about them, you’ll probably be amazed. The goal is to get you thinking about those mental images you are putting into the minds of your patients. In reality it’s more than “every picture tells a story.” Every word you use creates a story. If you want your patients to follow your advice, be treated sooner rather than later, and keep coming back to you, pay attention to how you speak with them.

Sometimes it’s easier to observe the impact of words used by others than to pay strict attention to what comes out of our own mouths. Practice that with the very next conversation you hear. Once you begin paying attention to the resulting actions from words that are used, you will come up with many others that can be replaced with better mental pictures, which will result in more of the actions you want.

More than just tone, volume and speed of speech make an impression. Substituting a few words with the “happier picture” words suggested here will make a difference in the results you are getting.

Author's Bio
Tom Hopkins is a world-renowned expert and authority on selling and salesmanship. His simple yet powerful strategies have been proven effective in many industries, including the dental industry, and during all types of economic cycles. The foundation of his training includes both the “people skills” of proper communication and the nuances that impact every situation where trying to persuade others. Tom’s style of delivery is practical and entertaining – making the strategies easy to remember and implement. Learn more about how Tom Hopkins can help you increase revenues in your practice at www.tomhopkins.com/blog.

Tom’s Three-day Boot Camp Sales Mastery will be held August 23, 24 & 25 in Scottsdale, Arizona.
Information can be found at: www.tomhopkins.com/boot_camp.shtml.
Details about Tom’s speaking schedule can be found at www.tomhopkins.com/live_events.shtml.

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September 2025
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