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Dentally Incorrect

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Dentally Incorrect  

A Recap of Add-On Services Thus Far…


To my remaining team,

As you all know, after our most recent bout of revenue woes, I decided to try to elevate the practice by creating a unique atmosphere to draw and retain more patients. While other offices around town offer spa and spa-like services, I had hoped we could stand out from that crowd. After all, I still believe that things like cucumber water, massage chairs and fragrance diffusers are all too … superficial. I want to provide patients with something tangible—or, at the very least, valuable—when they leave our office, besides our compassionate and (ahem) unprofitable production. I’d like to recap what we’ve tried so far. I welcome your feedback.

The smoothie stand had potential and I might revisit it at some point. It turns out, however, that if there’s a sound people dislike more than the whirring of a handpiece, it’s the combined noise of that and a blender liquifying ice and frozen fruit every few minutes. Also, I had no idea I’d be backed into the corner of having to decide between affording fresh papaya and continuing to employ an associate. We wish Dr. Feldman luck in his next venture.

The cobbler and shoeshine station was a total bust. I guess I never look too closely at people’s feet—or at them at all! Occupational hazard, I suppose, that I’m always aiming my lookers at teeth. Anyway, 99% of our patients come in wearing sandals. The one time a patient did opt for a shoeshine was in the middle of a root canal, and I figured I could drill that canal even with the jostling at the other end. In the end, the patient accepted my apology, took my referral to the endodontist across town and walked out with half of his shoes looking sharp.

Dogs in the operatories was a cute idea, but we should have been more discerning in how we selected our canine associates. I figured any dog would be better than no dog, but our hasty partnership with the local pound meant a lot of behavioral issues and furry friends quaking in the corners of the ops, which didn’t inspire much comfort or confidence in our patients. Related good news: Becky didn’t have to get a rabies shot, and most of her finger was reattached.

The psychic was a hit with patients. No question about it! Even those who didn’t believe still got a kick out of some of the predictions. However, it seemed every time there was a lull in the schedule, I’d catch her telling one of you there was a better-paying gig just down the road somewhere. She wasn’t even holding the crystal ball! She was just showing you job postings on Glassdoor!

Next week, we’re having a few Civil War reenactors come in to hopefully provide a bit of relative understanding for patients who think getting their wisdom teeth out is scary. With John and Charles screaming, “Please don’t take my leg!” and that new gangrene air diffuser running, I think we’ll bring a valuable perspective to the office.
Onwards and upwards,

Dr. Smith

Humor with bite


Dentally Incorrect
Dentaltown Magazine
September 2025
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