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Love Language Relationship Experience by Chris Mullins

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Words, phrases and tone are critical in day-to-day patient communication. What you say to patients should be positive, assertive and assumptive. You need to tell your patients what they should do based on your knowledge and expertise, and all in a positive tone. You should expect that your patients will do what you say, take your advice and follow your instructions. To achieve this expectation, you must command the patient’s attention. Example: I’m going to do X and you’re going to do Y. Patients want you to tell them what to do, but you must do it with the right words, language and tone. Build excitement during your conversation. Focus on the tone of your voice. You must act like what you say from the time the phone rings to when you deliver your services is the only choice there is; this is what patients want, tell them what to do specifically, step by step. Don’t force them to decide but make it easy for them.

Another technique to use in addition to power words and phrases is to pay close attention to your tone. If you’ve discovered that you need to sound warmer and friendlier, put a smile in your voice. The easiest way to do this is simply to put a smile on your face while you’re talking, whether on the phone or in person. Use the old mirror technique to practice this. We give mirrors to our clients to put on everyone’s desk, including the doctor, to use as a psychological trigger. Seeing the mirror on your desk is an automatic reminder to be sure you’re smiling. I’ve had students stand in front of the mirror at their homes as practice for seeing how they look when they speak.

Another excellent training technique, which I still do today, is to record my voice in a recorder using common everyday language to see how I really sound, and then take steps to fix how I sound. How you sit and stand can also affect how you sound when speaking to a patient. If you’re sitting slouched over you’re not going to sound positive, friendly or confident. This will take all your energy away. If by listening to your voice recording you discover that you tend to sound low key or depressed, again look at your posture. These techniques are also very important during all types of case presentations including the financial presentation. If you want to sound more enthusiastic, gesture freely and keep your hands above your waist. Gesturing even while you’re on the phone will help you to sound more enthusiastic. You could use a telephone headset to help. In addition, I taught myself a long time ago that if I stand up while I’m on the phone this helps greatly with sounding enthusiastic and full of energy. So, to be effective with love language and relationship building you must use your entire body not just your voice and words. When you’re on the phone, be there, be present, focus on the call and tune out all other distractions. Speak to others as if you’re their friend, like you’re sitting in the living room with them.

Another technique that I still use today is to role-play. Practice what you want to say to your patients, especially before your case presentation. As much as you can, read your script from top to bottom just to keep it top of mind and help you not sound so scripted. It will only take a few minutes to read it to yourself. These are just some examples and exercises to help you to be an expert with each moment of communication you have with your patients whether over the phone or in person. Remember all communication moments are sales moments whether you like it or not. Everything you do, every word you say is a communication moment, which is sales. You never, ever stop selling to prospects or even your established patients.

As an assumptive example while scheduling an appointment, say, “Your very next step is to schedule your free consult based on what you just said to me, there is no other choice.”

“If I were you, this is what I would do.” If you say you would make a certain decision as the expert it must be so; therefore your patient will take your advice.

“I couldn’t imagine being in your shoes.” Empathy! Validate that what the patient is going through is important and just. This helps the patient to feel like “I’m OK. There’s nothing wrong with me, so everything I say or do is a good choice. Therefore any choices I make at the dentist’s office will also be good and right.”

“You’re doing the right thing.” When it comes to making decisions most people back off, afraid to make a decision or delay making one because maybe it will be the wrong decision. The more you tell your patients they’re doing the right thing, the less afraid they’ll be.

“That’s a great option.” Validating your patients’ decisions and ideas will help them feel good about themselves and good about their choice of choosing you and going with your suggestions.

“We’re going to take good care of you.” Let your patients know they’re safe at your practice, you recognize them as individuals and you’re sensitive to them and their feelings.

“To solve your ‘bleeding gums problem and to prevent the inevitable likelihood of XYZ,’ you must get ABC done.” This will confidently remind the patient of a decision that must be made or they might face painful consequences.

“Congratulations on taking care of your dental health.” Everyone needs compliments. Saying this will help ease your patients’ minds, supporting their decision and getting them to repeat more of the same.

For the Front Desk

The In-Person Experience
Be sure to include love language describing the experience to your patients while scheduling the appointment. For example, after you’ve secured the appointment: “Mary, once you’ve arrived you’ll be greeted by either xxx or xxx. We have fresh coffee, assorted teas and spring water for you. Congratulations on taking the first step toward your dental health. We’ll send you a welcome packet. Please watch for that and bring it in with you. We’ve also included a little gift inside for you so be sure you look for it.”

Note the doctor’s credentials. “Dr. X has been specializing in implants for 25 years.” It might not be obvious to patients that the doctor is an expert or specializes in anything, so you must tell them. It’s important to also note the credentials of other team members. “You’ll be meeting with our chairside specialist [name] and she’ll take your X-ray… she’s terrific; you’re going to love her. She has been assisting Dr. X for 10 years.”

Compliment the patient on choice of dentists, referral resource, etc. “You made an excellent decision choosing Dr. X for implants. You made an excellent decision choosing Dr. Y as your general dentist.”

Compliment doctor and staff. Use the name of your team often. “After we’re finished here with your cleaning, Dr. X will come in to meet with you and then you’ll go back out to our front office to meet with Mary, our front desk expert. She’ll help you to maintain your excellent dental care.”

Author's Bio
Chris Mullins, “The Phone Success Doctor,” is CEO of Mullins Media Group, LLC, a communications and consulting firm specializing in The Wow Customer Service Experience, patient retention, telephone skills training, speaking, team building, analysis of incoming and outgoing patient phone calls, leadership and sales training. Mullins ably attacks a very significant problem area costing almost every business large sums: the handling of inbound telephone calls. Business owners and corporations spend huge amounts of money making that phone ring, then invest little or no serious effort at insuring each type of call is handled properly and professionally. Mullins’ background is in publishing with 25 years of experience in both reorganizing and creating successful sales and customer service departments for large corporate group newspapers. Chris delivers no-nonsense, high-energy, interactive seminars. A published author of the book The Gloves Off Guide The Biggest Marketing Secrets in Reconstructive Dentistry and Monkey Business for Today’s Phone Weary Office See/Hear/Speak/No Evil And Take Friday’s Off! Mullins has been a regular contributor to numerous industry publications as well as self-empowerment books including A Second Chicken Soup for Woman's Soul, Selling Power Magazine, Publisher’s Auxiliary, TeleProfessional Magazine, It's About Business and Business Beat. Contact Mullins at www.greatbottomline.com and chris@mullinsmediagroup.com.
Dentaltown Magazine
September 2025
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