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Quick Bite: The D-Word by Douglas Carlsen, DDS

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I've been avoiding writing of divorce forever, as it's widely reported that the only worse financial catastrophe a dentist can endure is the loss of his or her license. And sometimes even that might not be as bad. Divorce is brutal emotionally, but in cases like these, the financial blow can be equally life-altering.

Ultimately, about half of all American marriages eventually end up in divorce.

Below are several
selections from Fridman's list.
Dancers and Choreographers
43.1 percent
Bartenders
38.4 percent
Massage Therapists
38.2 percent
Social Workers
23.2 percent
Medical Doctors
22.0 percent
Customer Service Reps
21.4 percent
Dental Lab Techs
20.3 percent
Psychologists
19.4 percent
Administrative Assistants
19.0 percent
Dental Assistants
17.8 percent
Dental Hygienists
14.0 percent
Dentists
7.8 percent
Farmers and Ranchers
7.6 percent
Agricultural Engineers
1.8 percent
Divorce in Numbers

Let's now look on the bright side. The one accurately researched article that I can find with divorce statistics can be found on Lex Fridman's blog at http://lexfridman.com/blogs/thoughts/2012/04/14/divorce-rates-by-profession1. Lex Fridman lists the divorce rates for 511 professions.

This blew me away, yet I find no research to refute it. Dentists, along with optometrists, podiatrists, and veterinarians actually have very low levels of divorce. MDs are in the middle at 22 percent. Why does it seem dentists frequently divorce? Also the amount of money and physical objects fought over may be of more and of higher value than with most professions.

Avoiding Divorce

Delia Lloyd provides five productive methods couples may use to avoid divorce.2
  1. Be thrifty. Lloyd says couples that are not materialistic score 10 to 15 percent better on marriage stability than couples where one or both are materialistic.
  2. Work (especially wives). The divorce rate tends "to be lowest in states where more than 70 percent of married women work outside the home".3 Spend time apart. Lloyd remarks that couples often think that the true sign of a happy couple is doing everything together. Wrong
  3. Have sex. Lloyd comments that if sex isn't good and not frequent enough, divorce will often ensue.
  4. Do small, recognizable actions. The main determinants of happy, sustained marriages are actually small, tangible things like having at least five small positive interactions (touching, smiling, paying a compliment) for every negative one (sneering, eye rolling, withdrawal).4

    If Staying Together is not an Option

    Let's now look at prudent financial moves when couples do divorce.

    First, inventory all investment holdings. This includes checking and savings accounts, retirement and cash brokerage accounts, individual stocks and bonds, insurance policies, company stock options and any pensions.

    "It may be worth hiring a forensic accountant to help locate each and every asset," says Mary Yryan, a financial planner with Vanguard.5 Divide up personal and financial property. With financial property, be quite careful establishing values for entities. Take your time and seek expert advice.

    Spouses can either keep their own IRAs, 401(k)s, and Roths or transfer funds to the other spouse upon divorcing without penalty. Timing and proper brokerage documentation of any transfer is vital.

    Review beneficiaries for all insurance policies and brokerage accounts. Often the ex-spouse is left on documents. Each spouse needs to evaluate their new financial situation and plan forward expenses and savings accordingly. Two people can normally live on about 70 percent of what they would live on being single. Downsizing and spending cuts are common for both spouses after divorce.

    References
    1. From "A Comparison of Law Enforcement Divorce Rates with Those of Other Occupations," Journal of Police and Criminal Psychology, 25, 1, 2010, pages 1-16.
    2. Downloaded at http://www.huffi ngtonpost.com/delia-lloyd/5-ways-to-avoid-divorce_b_1019194.html on May 29,2014.
    3. Stephanie Coontz, A Strange Stirring: The Feminine Mystique and American Women at the Dawn of the Sixties, Basic Books, 2012.
    4. Tara Parker-Pope, For Better: The Science of a Good Marriage, Dutton Adult, 2010.
    5. Lisa Ward, "What Divorcing Couples Too Often Overlook," The Wall Street Journal, April 7, 2014.
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