Good morning, and thanks for calling Tooth Talk on station WSML. That’s WSML - where we’ve got miles of smiles of oral health tips on keeping your grill luminous and your pearlies on perpetual high beam. I am your host, Dr. Franz Crasier. Joining me in the studio is my trusty right hand gal pal, Doz Royale. ‘How are you doing today, Doz?’”
“I’m great, Dr. Crasier. And congratulations on sounding like you actually care.”
“Of course I sound like I care, Doz. Remember that old saying from the theater?”
“Get away, kid, you bother me?” “No, Doz.” “An actor must never be afraid to make a fool of himself?” “No, Doz.” “Is that a pistol in your pocket, or are you…” “Zounds, no Doz! I meant this one: ‘Good acting demands absolute sincerity – and if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.’”
“Good one, Dr. Crasier. That’s really profound and oh so interesting,” Doz says while rolling her eyes. “And that kind of attitude,” he says wagging a finger, “is why you never get a role in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers when only two women audition for the brides.”
“But enough show biz patter, people. Doz, who do we have on the line today?”
“Dr.Crasier, we have B.B. Wolf on Line 1. B.B. says he’s all in a huff because children often laugh at him and taunt him with what big teeth he has.”
“Hi B.B., this is Dr. Crasier. I’m listening.”
“Hi Dr. Crasier, first time caller, occasional listener. I mean, I listen when counting sheep doesn’t put me to sleep.” “Why thank you B.B., that’s nice of you to say – I think. How can we help you today?”
“Well, it’s like this Dr. Crasier. I love kids and I love volunteering. I’ve worked some with the second grade Wolf Cub Scouts in our area and I often do kids’ readings at our local bookstores.”
“Let me guess. The Lone Wolf series,” Dr. Craiser asks. “That’s right! Man, you really are as good as advertised.”
Shrugging modestly before realizing no one but Doz can see him on radio, Dr Crasier croons, “Go on B.B. I’m still listening.”
“Thanks, doc. Anyway, one of my favorite things is to play Santa Claus at our local Woodlands Mall. Problem is, every time I smile at the kids their eyes get real big, they start huffing and puffing tears and next thing I know they’ve beaten our nickel-back defensive elf coverage and the kids have high-tailed it from the mall.”
“So you think your smile may be intimidating the children, B.B.?”
“That’s putting it politely, Doc. I haven’t seen any kid run that fast since little Red Riding Hood thought I was after her picnic basket.”
“So what do you think you should do, B.B.? I’m assuming you brush and floss regularly and don’t have offensive breath?”
“What, after eating all those candy canes? You gotta be kidding me, doc! If my breath was any sweeter I could be a Hollywood wolf specializing in stunt double kissing scenes.”
“I see,” Dr. Crasier muses. “Could some cosmetic dental work, perhaps veneers, be the answer to your problems?”
“That’s what I’m thinking, doc. I looked into a dental plan during the recent open enrollment period, but no carrier on my state’s exchange was offering standalone dental worth a hoot or howl – so to speak.”
“B.B., you should check out one of our show sponsors, Dental Insurance Store. They’ve got comprehensive plans that cover a wide assortment of dental procedures. You’re here in the Pacific Northwest, I assume?”
“You bet, doc. The pack I run with has pooled our money together and we’ve got a terrific den in the woods not far from Seattle. On a clear day we can see Puget Sound and that really sets us to howling, let me tell you.”
“Well B.B., you may be surprised to know that Dental Insurance Store has plans in your territory that cover cosmetic dental benefits, including one plan for under $20 a month. How does that sound?”
“Howl much, ahem, I mean, how much did you say, doc? I had trouble hearing you over a little barbecue we’re preparing.”
“Uh, huh,” Dr. Crazier says. “Just go to dentalinsurancestore.com after the squealing subsides, B.B., and you can review the listed benefits for yourself. And don’t forget to floss after your little Bay of Pigs re-enactment.”
“I don’t know about you listeners, but my money is on B.B. getting those veneers before the next full moon. Alright, let’s see if we have time for another caller, what do you say Doz? Doz?
"Oh my, apparently not. I forgot this weekend is the local tribute to Sailors of the Pacific Northwest and Doz is heading the Fleet Engagement Team. Well, thanks most of you for listening, and remember: ‘Life is like a mirror, we get the best results when we smile at it.’”
And thank you readers for visiting Agent Straight-Talk. As Dr. Crasier explained to B.B., we’ve got all kinds of dental plans for all kinds of needs. To see plans available in your area, click here. And don’t forget to follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+ and LinkedIn!
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