Message Boards
Today's Active Topics Today's Active Cases Browse Forum Categories My Recent Activity My Messages Private Groups My Marked Threads My Subscriptions
Today's Active Images Today's Active Polls Most Active Topics Global Townie Map Advanced Message Board Search Message Board Terms of Use

Debunking the Social Stigma of Stress by Jen Butler, MEd, BCC

View Comments (30) More by this author (19)


Several recent studies, including statistics taken from the 2003 Dentist Wellbeing Survey conducted and published by the American Dental Association, show that 84-86 percent of dentists claim moderate to severe stress levels. From the same studies, only 26-30 percent of the same respondents have ever sought coaching or therapy.

What is it about seeking support and asking for help? It seems equally as difficult as getting some patients to accept treatment! Sadly, the assumptions, myths and social stigmas around any kind of mental health support deter most dental professionals from talking to a coach or therapist about their stress.

The following are 10 of the most common myths associated with mental health support and facts to debunk each one.

Myth: Asking for help means I'm weak.
Fact: It takes courage and strength to face fears and weaknesses.

Doctors are "fix-it" people. You fix teeth, fix patients, change smiles, build self-esteem and more. When patients sit in your chair you put on your critical thinking cap and fix whatever problems they might have surrounding their clinical and aesthetic concerns. It's natural to think you can fix yourself, your team and your business when there is a problem. When you can't, voices inside your head start whispering at you and the negative self talk wears you down and you believe what you're telling yourself... you're weak.

It is irrational to think there is any relationship between seeking coaching/therapy and one's level of strength and achievement. There is no study or research supporting this claim, so to limit your resources based on something you are telling yourself becomes an excuse. Seeking help for your stress levels requires you to take action, which takes more strength then staying passively stuck.

Myth: If patients find out I'm seeing a coach/ therapist they will go someplace else and the staff will think less of me.
Fact: All mental health professionals are bound by client privilege.

Whether you see a coach or therapist, rest assured your family, friends, patients, staff and colleagues won't hear it from your mental health partner. They are legally required to maintain strict confidentiality, except in situations of harm.

The truth is, you don't know how anyone would react to the idea of you talking with a coach/therapist. Irrational fear, propelled by social stigma around mental health services, prevents you from using all the tools and resources at your disposal to reduce your stress and work to your full potential.

Myth: Coaches and therapists are too expensive.
Fact: There are a wide range of service fees for all service professionals.

A very familiar objection dentists hear from patients is about money. This is also true with coaches and therapists. Too often people wait until the pain is so severe that they have no choice but to pay whatever fee to whomever they can find to help them. In dentistry, with this mentality, patients can lose teeth. In the world of mental health, people can lose lives.

The reality of stress and the havoc it can have on a dental professional is nothing compared to the cost of coaching services. Total up all of the money you spend each year on things that help you feel better about your practice and life with superficial results (cars, large homes, elaborate vacations, clothes, gym memberships, etc.). Add in the loss of case acceptance, patient retention, team engagement, new patient conversion and business growth because your stress levels don't allow you to connect. Lastly, throw in time spent worrying and being the victim to your stress, what you'd lose in a divorce or business separation and time lost with your kids. These costs will far exceed the price of a coach/therapist. It pays to get professional help.

Myth: Getting professional help is unnecessary when you can just talk to friends and family.
Fact: Friends and family have an emotional attachment to the decisions you make, while coaches and therapists remain neutral.

Best intentioned, loving family and friends don't like to see each other in pain so they often minimize mental health concerns. It's not uncommon for a well-meaning family member to say it's just a phase, a trusted friend to tell you to get over it or a colleague to chalk it up to the way dentistry has always been, and the way it will always be. When dealing with stress-related issues, these suggestions are misguided solutions.

Coaches and therapists are trained to maintain "detached involvement." This is when a coach can stay fully present in the situation while not taking on the emotional connection of the client. Detached involvement is important in any coaching as it allows for the mental health partner to ask difficult and pertinent questions that allows the client to see additional solutions and remove possible roadblocks getting in the way of goals. Coaches/therapists are also trained to challenge your beliefs, identify your irrational fears, provide advice when and only when it serves you and help you create effective action plans that will permanently reduce your stress while getting you to your goals.

Myth: I don't have the time to leave during office hours to go talk to someone.
Fact: Most coaches and more therapists utilize modern technologies to connect with their clients.

The idea of going to a coach/therapist office filled with leather sofas and fake plants is no longer the way of mental health support. Just like dentistry has modernized with technology, so has the formula for working with a coach/therapist. Secured websites allow coaches/therapists to have meaningful talks with their clients without fear of Internet hacking or breach of confidentiality. Cell phones make it easy for clients to reach out for in-themoment coaching. E-mail on phones allows clients/coaches to follow up, cheer-on and comment on the day's events.

The benefits of these sessions are endless. Most coaches/therapists can charge less since their expenses are lower. You have the session where you feel most comfortable (yes, even poolside). Early morning, mid-afternoon or late night hours are easier to maintain because you have the luxury of logging in from wherever you are.

Myth: Sharing "failures" with others is too embarrassing and I'll look stupid.
Fact: Professional partners don't see your failures, they see your opportunities.

The fear of being embarrassed and looking stupid is selfdeprecating, pejorative language that continues to seclude and isolate dental professionals from a network of support. One excellent way to interrupt your thought patterns is to ask, "How true is that?" How true is it that working with professional partners is embarrassing? Or that they would find you stupid? Probably not true at all.

The simple fact is you are a dentist or dental professional, clinically trained to fix teeth, change smiles, get people out of pain and prescribe medications. Professional partners do not interpret your lack of knowledge in their respected areas as an indication of your intelligence. Quite the opposite. Professional partners admire people who know their limitations, want to focus on what they do best and understand sometimes it takes a village to grow a dental practice.

Myth: Working with a mental health professional puts my license in jeopardy.
Fact: You are not at risk of losing your license for seeking mental health support.

Each state has its own process for supporting dentists and dental professionals around issues of addiction, depression and other conditions. When it comes to mental health support, most dental boards are open to providing resources via workshops, professional referrals and information. Dental boards know dentists are human and life will happen. They also recognize that it doesn't always get in the way of them providing great care to patients.

Myth: Only other dentists really understand my issues.
Fact: Sharing the same experiences does not make for better listening or deeper understanding.

However good-intentioned someone might be, when you talk to another person with your exact issue, he or she has a propensity to share in the conversation his or her experiences as well. This can find both parties compiling the negativity and it becomes a rally of, "If you think you have it bad, wait until you hear this." Or if it is something your confidant has already gone through, the person doesn't leave space for you to determine what is best for you, instead opting to put on the advisor cap and tell you how to do it. Neither approach builds long-lasting skills of decision making, empowerment, confidence, delegation or prioritization

Sharing similar experiences, degrees or professions is only one, small way to understand and validate what you might be going through. Mostly it is the ability to connect with the feelings you are having, regardless of the situation that brought about or created these emotions, that makes for understanding. Coaches/therapists are trained to relate to the emotion of the experience while still having 100 percent focus on you. They participate in the conversation as it relates to you and ensure your goals and solutions are the primary outcome.

Myth: Things aren't that bad. I can wait.
Fact: Things don't magically heal themselves.

Another very common objection heard in the dental practice: "It's a small cavity. I'll wait and see what happens." We all know what happens. The patient waits and waits until the issue becomes bigger, more invasive and requires more expensive treatment. For every dentist who has watched their patients walk out the door knowing they will be back on a Saturday morning needing a RCT, there is an equal number of coaches/therapists who watch potential clients decline services for the very same reason and think the exact same thing.

A mental health partner is another member of your comprehensive team to healthy living. You see your primary care doctor once a year, your dentist twice, and your coach/therapist monthly for proactive maintenance. Catch issues while they are small and require little changes of lifestyle and thinking to yield desirable results. You deserve to live the life you love every day; not when it's so bad you're digging out of a deep hole.

Myth: Rehashing my problems after a long day of seeing patients is too draining.
Fact: Talking about your problems for the purpose of finding a true resolution is energizing.

There are long days in every profession and there are many choices in which to decompress. Many people turn to external coping methods (venting, alcohol, chocolate, exercise, screen time - all methods of avoidance) to relax and suppress a day's worth of problems. Often these methods exclude family connections and further secludes you when you arrive home ("Not now honey, it's been a long day." "Maybe later kids, I'm exhausted.").

Whether you start your day or end your day talking with a coach/therapist, clients discover a new-found energy after addressing problems and committing to resolutions. Working on a paradigm shift to see more opportunity and fewer problems is the goal of effective coaching/therapy.

Author's Bio
Jen Butler, M.Ed., CPC, BCC has been working in the area of stress management and resiliency coaching for more than 20 years. As a national speaker and certified trainer, Ms. Butler has presented to thousands of business owners on how to reduce stress, increase engagement, and earn higher profits. Currently Ms. Butler works exclusively with dental professionals as a Master and Board Certified Executive Coach and Stress Management Consultant through 1:1 sessions, in-office consulting, and small or large group trainings.

Jen Butler is available as a coach, consultant, speaker and writer. To learn more about her services and sign up for her monthly StressLESS newsletter go to www.jenbutlercoaching.com. Take the Dental Stress Self-Assessment at www.jenbutlercoaching.com/quiz/ to find out your stress levels. Contact Jen Butler directly at 623-776-6715.
Dentaltown Magazine
September 2025
Dentaltown Magazine September 2025 Read Current Issue Read Archived Issues
Sponsors
Townie Perks
Townie® Poll
Who or what do you turn to for most financial advice regarding your practice?
  
Site Menu
Message Boards Magazine Continuing Education Podcasts Blogs Classifieds Dental News Events Townie® Poll Ebooks Townie Choice Awards
Company Info
Contact Us Advertise With Us Howard Farran DDS, MBA Policies and Agreements
Site Help
Sally Gross, Member Services Specialist
Phone: +1-480-445-9710
Email: sally@farranmedia.com
©2025 Dentaltown, a division of Farran Media • All Rights Reserved
9633 S. 48th Street Suite 200 • Phoenix, AZ 85044 • Phone:+1-480-598-0001 • Fax:+1-480-598-3450