A guy is driving around Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a house that reads: “Talking Dog For Sale.” He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there. “You talk?” he asks. “Yes, I do,” the lab replies.

“So, what’s your story?” asks the guy.

The lab looks up and says, “Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years. But, the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and listening in on conversations. I uncovered some incredible plots and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies and now...I’m just retired.”

The guy is amazed! He goes back inside and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

“Ten dollars,” the owner says. “Ten dollars? This dog is amazing, why on earth are you selling him so cheap?”

The owner replies, “Because he’s a liar. He never did any of that stuff.”

Two patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same complaint. Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement.

The first patient is examined within the hour, is X-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week.

The second sees his family doctor after waiting a week for an appointment, then waits 18 weeks to see a specialist, then gets an X-ray, which isn’t reviewed for another month and finally has his surgery scheduled for a year from then.

Why the different treatment for the two patients?

The first is a Golden Retriever.

The second is a Senior Citizen.