My new dream job mostly turned out to be a big nightmare.
The possibilities of a new future were there, of course, along with all
of the standard challenges you would expect from starting any new job.
Change is hard. It’s scary. It’s uncomfortable. It makes you feel
vulnerable and insecure.
To get by, I just continued dreaming about the
future instead of the present; thinking if I pushed through the hard
times, it would eventually be right. I was coming up on my 5th year in
practice, and I was sure that at year 5 it would all become clear. I
would have solved all of the challenges and mysteries of practice by
then. Dentistry would become a little easier.
It never did.
At first, I thought all dental offices were filled to the rim
with patients willing to pay you for the dental work that they need.
I had no idea what I was getting myself into with this new practice.
There were days when I only had 1 patient in my schedule– quite a change
from the 30-40 I was used to seeing. Days when my only patient
canceled, I would end up crying in the bathroom, unable to handle the
thought of being stuck in the office another day for 8 hours with
nothing to do and not a dime to show for it. The bottom line was this
office wasn’t ready for an associate. There just wasn’t enough to go
around. And all dentist associates know that when there’s not enough to
go around, it all goes to the boss. They can tell you that’s not how
it works, but if they do, they’re lying.
I went from wanting to NOT work because
there was too much of it (you know, hoping for a cancellation or that
the power would go out for the afternoon,) to wanting to actually do
what I was trained to do. This was a step in the right direction, at
least.
When I left the first office, I often said, “you can’t pay me
enough money to continue living like this.”
Be careful what you wish
for because that’s exactly what I traded.
Those first few years I made a
great income, but the misery that came with it was not worth it
to me. Sadly, my income actually peaked my 3rd and 4th years in
practice. When I switched to my dream job, I started making 1/5 of my original
income. (Was it too much to ask to reach a happy medium?)
I wasn’t
driven by the prospect of making lots of money, and I also needed to
feel fulfilled mentally and emotionally. Now, both the money and the
fulfillment were missing.
I kept holding on though, living in denial of the problems and my role in them, for
that day to come when I could find my perfect balance.
As with most challenges, a lot of good did
come out of it though.
I realized what I wanted out of my career,
discovered a true interest in what I was doing, and made a good friend
along the way.
More importantly, I also made an interesting shift. I actually wanted
patients to come see me. I wanted to be busy, and I wanted to do
dentistry. We had the best equipment and used the best materials, so I
finally felt good about what I was doing for patients.
So while the dream job turned out to be just as dysfunctional as the
dysfunctional job, I knew I had to start searching again. By this time I
had enough experience and insight that I knew what I wanted.
The great people at Hankey Pankey actually introduced me to my final practice. I was certain this
was now going to be my dream job.
If it wasn’t, then I was done. No
more. If these people couldn’t help me become what I wanted to become,
then I give up. You know the final outcome. I’ll get to that soon.