It was July 17, 2001: the day we officially met for the first time.
It was our first real
date and the day my budding romance with dentistry began. Everything
was new and exciting. There was no time to notice any red flags because
I was too taken by the potential of how amazing my new life would be.
Our 10-year relationship was off to a great start, and I looked forward
to the long life we would share together.
During
the initial phase of our courtship, dentistry showered me with a lot of
wonderful gifts and unexpected attention. Life felt new, and I felt
recharged. The good times were great, and the bad times were likely to
pass. I was sure of it.
Having
been a full-time student my whole life, at 27 everything changed. I
celebrated every moment, knowing I no longer had to attend a class. I
appreciated the luxury of leaving my work at the office and having the
opportunity to focus my attention on anything else; or not
having to devote all of my “me time” to studying for a test, writing a
paper, or reading a textbook. I suddenly felt free. And I finally got
to feel what it was like to get a paycheck, simply for putting in the
same hours of work I did while in school.
Who would have ever thought that this very committed relationship would leave me feeling so independent and free?
It
was scary too though. I went from being a big cheese senior in dental
school to someone who, once again, didn’t know anything. I had to now
learn to work with other people, and acquire the minor skills
they neglected to teach us in dental school: how to lead an office; how
to work with an assistant; how to work with office managers and
receptionists; how to get the team to rally around you. Oh, and how to
manage patient relationships and treating more than 2 patients in an
entire day!
Life was so exciting,
though, that I was too distracted to worry. New city, new job, new
friends, new paycheck. It was fun to meet new people and watch them
react, shocked to discover I was a dentist. The ultimate was the dirty
old man at a friend’s wedding. I was talking to this much older
“gentleman,” and he asked me what I did for a living. When I responded,
“I’m a dentist,” he stopped in his tracks. “Wait! What? Oh, Aw, Um,
No way! Honey, honey, come here,” he called over his wife.
Before I
could respond, his wife came rushing over. “Honey, guess what this
Laura, here, does for a living?” He couldn’t leave it at that. He felt
the need to now insert foot into mouth. “Okay, I’m gonna give you 3
choices. She is… um, a stripper? Uh, or… uh, a teacher? Or a
dentist?” I didn’t know whether I should have felt flattered that I
didn’t fall into the dentist stereotype or insulted that the first thing
that came to his mind in order to fool his wife was that I was a
stripper.
Which reminds me… here’s a good one all of you lady dentists
will relate to:
Stranger: What do you do?
Me: I’m a dentist.
Stranger: Oh, so you clean teeth? You’re a hygienist?
Me: No, I’m a dentist. You know, root canals, fillings, pulling teeth.
Stranger: Ohhhh, wowwww! I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to… wow!
Hygienists,
this is not an insult to your profession. It is a great one indeed.
It’s more a commentary made by this not-extreme-feminist woman who finds
it funny that many people do not expect that a woman can possibly be a
dentist.
While the reactions from
people were never dull, people were always very respectful to me (except
for implying that I was more likely to be a stripper.)
It was
generally always positive.
In fact, I miss saying that I’m a dentist
when people ask me what I do. I don’t miss the inevitable questions
that follow: “oh, hey, my dentist wants to put caps on my eye teeth.
What do you think? Do I need them?” Or “I went to a place where I got
x-rays and an exam and a cleaning and tooth whitening– all for only
$29.99! Didn’t I get a great deal? They said I need something called
deep cleanings and 14 porcelain fillings. Are they scamming me? What
do you think I should do?”
Regardless of the response, everyone knows
what you do when you say you’re a dentist. It’s an easy one-word
answer. There’s no explanation. As I settle into my new identity, it’s
hard for me to tell people what I do now without first explaining that
I’m a “retired dentist” going through a career change. Right now, it’s
still a part of who I am. I guess some old habits die hard.
So
anyway, here I was, in this blossoming partnership, getting to know
dentistry with a fairly open mind, hoping we would fall for each other.
As with many relationships, we had a lot going for us but also a lot of
challenges to overcome. I didn’t want to see those obstacles. That’s
the value of getting to know someone before taking the plunge. Over
time, certain truths come out. Once you’re so tied together, it’s
harder to break up. For me, obviously there was no other way to find
out if dentistry was the one for me. I had to take the plunge, but I
truly don’t think that at any point in our relationship it ever would
have been easy to break it off.
I guess
there will always be a place in my heart for dentistry, and I hope we
can remain friends. I smile everyday as I ask myself do I miss it?
And that smile lingers as I answer… not a chance!