CHOOSE TO BE CURIOUS

It’s your choice, you realize that right? I was thinking about what I wanted to share about my coaching programs what kept coming to my mind was… you!

I’ve been coaching for several years now and I first want to say that I truly love – all of you! My general dentists, my specialists, my surgeons… Such amazing people and it is an incredible reward to be working with you! You are talented, intelligent, hilarious, and fun… You are amazing, you really are!!

Along with all of those exciting and energizing qualities I see in you, there are some things bothering you. Things that come up in your lives and in your professions. Many of you aren’t talking about in much detail with each other but you are openly talking about with me.

As I have been working with you and witnessing the positive changes that are occurring in your lives… I have been feeling impressed about a couple of things and I want to share them with you.

Struggles Are Real

First, I think it’s important that we get the word out – a little louder! The word that the struggles that some dentists have are the struggles that a lot of doctors have.

Just the knowledge that you’re not alone and that there is not something wrong with you should provide some relief. By the way, most of the things you’re experiencing are real evidence that you have a working, human brain. We’ll get into how the brain works and how you can get it to work for you) … 

There’s not anything wrong with you for experiencing these things, and, “yes, you are still cut out for this”. Things can and will get better. These can be a comfort. Try not to worry, there are solutions and we’re going to talk about them.

Secondly, what I want to accomplish is a way for you to get a boost! To get doses of the things we go deeper into in my programs. So that as you’re driving, or as you’re reflecting on our sessions, or as you’re going throughout your week. You can grab onto a nugget or idea that will help you feel a little better. 

With that, I think I’ll save the rest of the typical get-to-know-me details and get started right now with what I believe are foundational, that affect everything you experience…  They will come up as we explore the concepts I coach on, they impact your personal life, they affect your businesses, and they are sometimes louder and less pleasant than you wish they were… they are your thoughts. 

Awareness of the Power of Your Thoughts

I became fascinated with thought work in my early 20’s when I came across a book that I’ll talk more about later. What I learned and have spent many years studying since is the magnitude of observable power that our thoughts have in our lives. 

This is so important to start with, because what I didn’t have for a long time, and what so many of you come to me not yet having, is an in-depth awareness of the thoughts you are thinking. 

There Are Tens of Thousands of Thoughts Going On in Your Brain Everyday

    
• Things you’ve been thinking for a long time. 
    
• Some of them pop up as you experience some sort of stimuli. 
    
• Some of them seem to repeat themselves on a loop demanding your attention over and over… 

You have a choice, we all do, every single day! A choice about which things we’re going to spend our brain space on. You have a choice about how you are going to direct your mind. That’s why I say, actually choose to be curious.

What Are You Going to Create?

Whatever the path, whatever the objective, whatever the situation…your thoughts are going to play an incredible role in your experiences. 

Now, this is something you probably are already aware of on some level… 

When you consider any accomplishment or task you’ve completed you can see that there were thought processes that went into planning for and then following through with it. 

Sometimes what gets lost or at least a little fuzzy is the fact that everything, all of the tasks, even the lying in bed until 10 AM before spending the rest of the day lounging with a book- types of days, are unequivocally related to and impacted by your thoughts. Everything is!

The more aware of this you become, the more intrigued you will become as you notice your thinking and watch your life and witness first-hand the evidence and connection between the two. If you do the work I’m going to teach you, you won’t be able to ignore it. 

I’m going to give you your first assignment, because as your coach I want to give you as much as you’re willing to work on.

I know the power this work has had in my life. I’ve seen the power this work has had in my clients’ lives, and I know that if you will put in the effort you, too, will see results!

Your Task – Become Kindly Curious

So, here’s your task: become kindly curious of yourself. In this process you can learn to constantly choose to be curious.

I don’t mean judgmental, or nit-picky. I mean gentle and thoughtful and genuinely curious about you, your thinking, your reasons, and your feelings.

Sincerely, I recommend you do this – not just about the things you enjoy focusing on or need to focus on – but for all of your experiences from waking up, to greeting the people you see in the morning, to interactions with staff and patients, to coming home after a long day, to the moments you have alone… all of it. 

Become kindly curious about what you are thinking throughout all of your experiences.

I want you to almost hear your thoughts as if someone else was speaking them and you were just listening.

See What You Notice – When You Choose to be Curious

    
• How do the thoughts sound?
    
• How do the thoughts feel? 
    
• Which ones seem to repeat themselves?
    
• What is the most prevalent tone of the thoughts you have throughout your day?

Now, remember, when you choose to be curious you’re not being judgmental. You’re not picking yourself apart. The only job you have right now is to notice yourself. 

Many of you spend so much of your time ignoring your own thoughts and often with really wonderful and very respectable intentions on the other end… You’re prioritizing getting people out of pain, providing a secure and profitable business for your employees, trying to do nice things for your spouse, hoping to give your family good experiences… 

These are all good things and they all take time. And what many of my clients are telling me is that they catalog their own thoughts, feelings, and concerns to be dealt with at some ambiguous time in the future while they put these other things first. But what’s really happening, and what we end up uncovering, is that the thoughts, feelings, and concerns were not “put away” for later… 

They were just running in the backgrounds of their brains undealt with having a definite and observable impact on all of the wonderful things that were prioritized in front. 

If you want to be the best doctor you can be, if you want to be the best employer-associate-spouse-friend-parent-or neighbor you can be, you have to be really good to yourself. 

Be Kindly Curious

That is why I say that your task is to be kindly curious. We all make a choice to or not to be curious.

Most people do not sustain motivation when their performance is based on fear, pressure, or harsh judgment. For you to do any sort of thought work that lasts you’re going to need to approach yourself with love and respect. 

Whatever you’re thinking, wherever you’re at, you have reasons for being there. You have reasons you think the way that you do. 

Give yourself credit for how far you’ve gotten yourself up to this point and give yourself the honor and encouragement you’ll need to propel to new, greater ways of living. This is going to be great and it is going to change your life!! 

Remember to be kind, choose to be curious and listen to your thoughts!