• Instead of Nitrous you ask your patient to “pull my finger.”
• You have more curtains in your pick-up than you do in your office.
• Chiggers are included in your list of “top 5 dental hygiene concerns.”
• Your lab coat has the sleeves cut off.
• Your dental school song was “Dueling Banjos.”
• You keep a can of Raid in each operatory.
• You clean your fingernails with a Cavitron.
• There are more than 5 old Burger King bags on your desk.
• Your high speed is made by Black and Decker.
• You have a velvet picture of Elvis in your waiting room.
• You use the term over yonder’ instead of distal.
• You wonder how your staff can keep the restroom so clean.
• You almost quit dental school because Dad was opening a Lube Rack.
• Your patients complain the ceiling fan is blowing too hard.
• You think Volvo is part of a woman’s anatomy.
• The pen at your check-out desk has a chain on it.
• Your dental assistant can hear your car before she can see it.
• You use the words debridement and divorce interchangeably.
• After a haircut you look like Willie Nelson.
• Your largest monthly office expense is from your taxidermist.
• Your patients ask if they can wear a mask too.
• Your assistant has to start suction by sucking hard on a plastic tube then lowering the end into a bucket.
• Your 25th wedding anniversary involved pitching a tent.
• Your “Stock Investments” in Budweiser Corporation are kept in your refrigerator.