Dentally Incorrect

Fact or Unfortunate Fiction of 2020? 

And we’re back and happy to see you, devoted Dentally Incorrect fans. How long has it been? This year has just flown by … like an anvil. In this age where Bill Murray’s Groundhog Day T-boned Stephen King’s The Stand, a little humor is a sweet salve.

Take a look at these short stories and decide for yourself if it’s absolute fiction or another unfortunate truth fitting of 2020.

1. A Florida sheriff lavished a luxury office space with money taken from “the bad guys,” at a cost of $35,000 a month (on a four-year lease).

2. The Mississippi Department of Archives and History walked back one of the 147 proposed designs for the new state flag. The giant silhouette of a mosquito depicted at the center of the popular “hospitality flag” was never supposed to be an option, even if it is the best one.

3. In Michigan, a state-owned drone was downed by a bald eagle and sent to the bottom of Lake Michigan. The drone was being used to “document shoreline erosion,” apparently. The bird, which unrelatedly has long been a symbol of American freedoms, wasn’t buying it.

4. Germany twofer! 1. A fox has stolen more than 100 shoes in Berlin, where citizens apparently leave their shoes outside a lot and never learn. 2. A closed-down circus turned to sell jars of lion poop as fertilizer for local gardeners wanting to be kings of their mini jungles.

5. A man in Idaho set a world record for most balloons popped with thrown chopsticks: 40. The man, who originally set the record at 28, came out of retirement to break the previous record of 36. (We’re willing to sponsor a chopstick cage match to the death if the two want to settle things once and for all.)

6. The FDA is considering new guidelines for drinks with the word “milk” in them, saying, among other amazing things, “An almond doesn’t lactate.”

These are all true! (Except for the cage match thing.)