Dentally Incorrect

Rimshot-Worthy Throwaway Dental Jokes

I told my hygienist that the new associate is nearly deaf, so she should speak loudly and slowly. I told my new associate that my hygienist has a severe speech impediment. And now we wait. ...

My first assistant left me because, according to her, I’d never turn my struggling practice around. Fifteen years later, I have only one thing to say to her: “Lucky guess.”

Office managers are like boomerangs. I hope.

The doctor notices that one of his employees shows up to work half an hour late. “You should’ve been here at 8:30,” he says. “Why?” asks the employee. “What happened at 8:30?”

My grandfather had the teeth of a saltwater crocodile … and a lifetime ban from the local zoo.

To the dental-phobic, heavily sedated patient last seen crawling out of the operatory:
You can hide, but you can’t run.

I’ve never been the best with pediatric patients, and today was no exception. This anti-vaxxer mom couldn’t keep her 4-year-old from bursting into tears during the consult. I suggested it could be a midlife crisis.

Dentist: “Assistant, get in here, quick! We’re doing brain surgery!”
Assistant: “What? Why in the world are we—”
Dentist: “The drill slipped.”

Hearing certain music can really take you places. For instance, my staff is playing Taylor Swift over the PA, so now I’m going somewhere else.

Patient: “What’s the Wi-Fi password?”
Receptionist: “You need to schedule a cleaning first.”
Patient: “OK, I’ll come in tomorrow morning.”
Receptionist: “Perfect. We have you scheduled.”
Patient: “So … what’s the Wi-Fi password?”
Receptionist: “youneedtoscheduleacleaningfirst. No spaces. All lowercase.”