Dentally Incorrect

Dentaltown Magazine

Now that you’re freshly graduated (or perhaps still slogging through), it’s time to acquaint you with some phrases you most likely didn’t learn in dental school


“Accounts receivable”

The gist of this is getting paid ... by receiving payments, then putting the money in the place where the money goes. The reality of this term, however, is something more akin to praying people actually pay for the service you’re slowly going broke and insane providing.

“Collateral”

A cab driver (Jamie Foxx) finds himself the hostage of a contract killer (Tom Cruise)?... oh, wait, that’s the movie (and an underrated one, come to think of it). Anyway, the business term collateral refers to something you put down as security for repayment of a loan in case everything goes belly-up. But if you’re reading this, you probably don’t have anything other than that big ole debt yet. Sorry, kiddo!

“Cost-per-lead”

The absolutely intangible, unquantifiable losses you’re willing to endure to your pride, self-esteem, family, friends and mental health, turned into a soulless mathematical calculation that determines how much it might cost to attract a new patient.

“Employee”

A person who must obey you in exchange for money and benefits ... if they’re lucky! OK, no, that got a little dark. Please don’t go power-hungry when you’re the boss of a small team of talented people trying to keep your career afloat. A few years into practice, you’ll realize they keep your business running and you just work there.

“Fixed asset”

Something tangible, such as property or equipment, that you use to generate income. These usually aren’t ever turned into cash, sold or converted. In a way, the biggest fixed asset in a practice is you. Go ahead and label yourself on the balance sheet as “equipment,” you big tool.

“Game-changing”

Much like when someone says, “That’s hilarious” but does not actually laugh, the phrase “game-changing” is a fallacy that actually denotes a minor alteration to a product that no one asked for, no one will notice, and no one will remember being any different from the last product.

“Paradigm-shifting”

Used arbitrarily and incorrectly to describe an unoriginal train of thought with hardly a degree of separation from its root foundation. Sort of like how Alanis Morrissette wrote “Ironic” without looking up the word’s definition and everything she sang about was actually just mildly unfortunate.

Dentaltown Magazine

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