Dentally Incorrect

She said: “I have a 22-year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground, brewed coffee.”

I said: “Well, then why are you crying?”

She said: “He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me half the afternoon.”

I said: “Well so why are you crying?”

She said: “For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m.”

I said: “Well, why in the world would you be crying?”

She said: “I CAN’T REMEMBER WHERE I LIVE!”

Two cows–a political lesson

Communism: You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk.

Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes them and sells you the milk.

Bureaucracy: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down the drain.

Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Corporate: You have two cows. You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows and then act surprised when it drops dead.

Democracy: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow which was a gift from your government.