Dentally Incorrect

Dentally Incorrect 

Ode to an Office Manager


It’s with a heavy heart (and growing anxiety) that I write this: Your two-week notice has forced me to acknowledge some inconvenient truths. Let’s start with scheduling, a task I assumed was a simple “drag and drop” affair. What do I drag and where do I drop it? Did you have an app for this?

The supply closet doesn’t restock itself anymore. You handled finances, too, which, in retrospect, explains why I always had the illusion of a well-balanced budget. Someone must reconcile things? I thought the accounts just … I don’t know, reconciled themselves out of professional courtesy?

Thanks to you, I received employee gossip in only distilled, bite-sized summaries. You were the human CliffsNotes of workplace drama. Without expertly curated updates, I’m forced to stand awkwardly by the Keurig machine, pretending to care.

Also, I realized how many random people wandered into the practice for reasons entirely unrelated to dentistry. You’ve been the unofficial bouncer. Last week, a random teenager parked himself in the waiting room and said, “This place smells like a sad meme.”

Removing the office lizard—a creature I had no idea even existed—has made me a villain. Apparently, “Merv” had been peacefully cohabitating near the air conditioning vent for years. He was even on the “Meet the Team” page of the website?! His photo is better than mine!

We’re done with lunch-and-learn events. A simple sandwich platter isn’t simple. Half the team believes bread is the devil, three people are “pescatarian-curious” and everyone is mad at milk.

Your impending departure brings forth the brutal truth of it all: I don’t know how you did it! We’ll do our best … but I suggest you get a new phone number before I start panic-dialing you in the middle of the night and making mostly baseless threats.


Humor with bite


Dentally Incorrect



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