Dentally Incorrect

Trends and Digressions

• Despite a 40% increase of motivational posters in employee break rooms in 2023, productivity and morale continue to tick downward. Remastered editions of the “Hang in There!” kitten have perhaps passed its zenith. Experts agree it’s time to almost consider maybe thinking about paying employees more.
• From a leaked internal memo from one of the largest dental insurance companies: “Going into 2024, we have to mitigate where we can. We, of course, will not be increasing our coverages or any allotments, but we will be implementing a new allowance. Practice owners who call will now be allowed a full minute (up from 45 seconds) to cuss us out before our AI call center robot interrupts.”
• In 2023, experts suggested practice owners take up the art of origami, turning unpaid invoices into intricate paper cranes as a creative outlet for coping with the perennial struggle of chasing payments. Now, some thought leaders are pushing for a new, direct shame-based strategy of threatening to release unflattering intraoral photos on Facebook unless invoices are paid.
• A prominent think tank believes 3D printing and milled crown fees will decline nearly 80% in 2024 when dentists allow lab techs to just rent a cot in the supply room.
• Patients may opt into a new pilot program where services can be done at a steep discount if the dentist is allowed to perform the treatment vicariously.

Humor with bite

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