Dentally Incorrect

Dentistry Around the Diamond

In honor of Opening Day—which is considered a national holiday among baseball fans—we take a look at each position on the field and who in the dental office would own that spot. And if you think baseball is a bore—well, remember what famed broadcaster Red Barber said: Baseball is dull only to dull minds!

Starting pitcher: The doctor
No-brainer here: Control freaks in the center of everything, making everyone wait on them before play can commence. (Associates are the relief pitchers of dentistry, coming in to clean up the starter’s mess).

Catcher: Dental assistant
Develops a close rapport with the pitcher and helps call the game. Gets down in the dirt to block the pitches that get away. Takes a beating behind the plate but keeps on ticking.

First base: Front office
One of the hardest positions to field and responsible for the most putouts of anyone on the field. The good ones make it look easy and the bad ones never hang around in the majors long.

Second base: Treatment coordinators
Crafty utility players who know the hitters and runners with unparalleled expertise. Great footwork. Often overlooked skill sets until someone tries to steal second.

Third base: Billing/back office
They call this position the “hot corner” for a reason! Makes sure nothing gets past them, down the line and lost in the corner, which could really come back to haunt the scoreboard.

Shortstop: Office managers
Captains of the infield. Call the shots while in the thick of it and makes the long, hard throws when it counts the most. Always wants a new, megamillion-dollar deal, though … 

Outfielders: Hygienists
Nimble, fast and they share the duties of keeping the big part of the park covered. They make the plays that keep fans in the stands.