Thanksgiving Day Office Games
The Wattle Waddle
First of all, you have to know what a wattle is. (A wattle is the fleshy growth under a turkey’s beak—one of their many caruncles, which are the bulbous protuberances all over the turkey’s head and neck. They look like giant warts. Hungry yet?) Anyway, get a surgical mask and pull it down around your neck, then stuff it full of candy and see who can waddle with a full wattle the fastest down the hall without losing any stuffing.
Birdbrains in the Rain
The myth that turkeys are so stupid that they’ll stare upward, mouths agape, in a rainstorm until they’ve drowned is the foundation for this wonderfully wet and messy misusage of instrumentation. One person hangs her head back and opens up while someone else uses the irrigator to fill up her mouth. Everyone else stands around and practices their best gobble. Whoever goes the longest without laughing, spitting water everywhere—or drowning—is the champion!
You’ll need some goat horns if this is to be authentic. Otherwise, get some of those scratchy wicker cornucopias that make tacky centerpieces. Next, shove the narrow end down the front of your pants. You are now a human backboard. Pass around a bag of grapes, hold still, and see just how hard your employees pelt you with fruit in a vain attempt to get it in your basket, so to speak. If you worry your employees dislike you, use cotton balls. Eye protection recommended.
The Snood Strut
Rounding up our coverage of turkey anatomy ... the snood looks like a deflated wrinkly balloon that hangs down over a turkey’s beak, but when it gets excited, it becomes inflated and upright. (Stop smirking! This is real.) This contest requires an impartial judge, as everyone inflates a glove as much as they can, tape it to their noses, and starts to strut. The most impressive snood and strut wins the day.