Dentally Incorrect

  1. All children must sit in a make-shift waiting room on your front lawn for 20 minutes before receiving one piece of sugar-free candy.
  2. Repurpose that old composite by wrapping it in foil in the shape of a Hersey’s Kiss.
  3. Distribute disclosing tablets. Talk about Shock Tarts.
  4. Mass-produce and distribute leaflets spreading the word about your candy buy-back program.
  5. Trade Xylitol gum for the promise of positive reviews on Google.
  6. Carve a jack-o-lantern with your handpiece in the carport to provide symbolic foreshadowing.
  7. Overload children with candy if they have primary teeth. Kids with permanent teeth get a candy-coated talking to about the dangers of All Hallow’s Eve.
  8. Decorate the outside of your house with clinical pictures of caries.
  9. Sell mouthwash lemonade-stand style on the sidewalk.
  10. Turn away any trick-or-treater who didn’t schedule an appointment.
  11. Deal exclusively in jawbreakers. Good for business.
  12. Use candy cigarettes to raise awareness for oral cancer screenings.
  13. Dress up like a dentist.
Legal disclaimer: Don’t do any of the things we just suggested. If you did, it’s on you and we don’t take any responsibility for the fallout.
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