The CEO walked up to the guy and asked, “And how much money do you make a week?”

Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replied, “I make $200 a week. Why?”

The CEO gave him $200 and said, “Here’s a week’s pay, now GET OUT and don’t come back!” Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks, “Does anyone want to tell me what that slacker did here?”

With a grin, one of the workers replied, “He’s the pizza delivery guy.”

Seeing Eye Dog
Two buddies were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other had a Chihuahua. As they sauntered down the street, the guy with Doberman said to his friend, “Let’s go over to that bar and get something to drink.”

The guy with the Chihuahua said, “We can’t go in there. We’ve got dogs with us.”

The one with the Doberman said, “Just follow my lead.”

They walked over to the bar and the guy with the Doberman puts on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.

The bouncer at the door said, “Sorry, Mac, no pets allowed.”

The man with the Doberman said, “You don’t understand. This is my seeing-eye dog.”

The bouncer said, “A Doberman pinscher?”

The man said, “Yes, they’re using them now. They’re very good.”

The bouncer said, “Come on in.”

The buddy with the Chihuahua figured what the heck, so he put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in. He knew his story would be more unbelievable.

Once again the bouncer said, “Sorry, pal, no pets allowed.”

The man with the Chihuahua said, “You don’t understand. This is my seeing-eye dog.”

The bouncer said, “A Chihuahua?”

The man with the Chihuahua said, “A Chihuahua? They gave me a Chihuahua!”