Dentally Incorrect

On the Road Again–from a male point of view
Driving to town this morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Mustang doing 65 mph with her face up next to the rear-view mirror putting on her eyeliner! I looked away for a couple of seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that damned makeup! It scared me so bad I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear, which fell into the coffee
between my legs, completely ruining a very important call I was on!

UGH! WOMEN DRIVERS!

The Clever Wife
A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I've been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box. We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! And please pack my new blue silk pajamas." The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a good wife she does exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish? He says, "Yes! Lots of Walleye, some Bluegill, and a few Pike. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?" The wife replies, "I did. They were in your tacklebox."

Doughboy rolls into the great beyond
Please join us in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins and Captain Crunch. The gravesite was piled high with flour. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very 'smart' cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John and Jane Dough; plus they had a bun in the oven. He is
also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 350
degrees for about 20 minutes.

The Truth...
Sometimes...
when you cry...
no one sees your tears.
Sometimes...
when you are in pain...
no one sees your hurt.
Sometimes...
when you are worried...
no one sees your stress.
Sometimes...
when you are happy...
no one sees your smile.
But fart just one time.

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