Dentally Incorrect

Dentally Incorrect

Human Interference Task Force


There exists a team of scientists, engineers, anthropologists and concerned others known as the Human Interference Task Force. Its mission is one of the most difficult in human history: It has to inform “future us” of the dumb things “current us” is doing.

Here’s the problem in a nutshell: We keep making radioactive waste that will threaten human life and health for millennia. How do we warn the future us about it 5,000 or even 10,000 years from now? What method would continuously and profoundly alert people for thousands of years when institutions, religions and even languages can blink out or fade away in a fraction of the time that nuclear wastes still hold full power? Here’s a look at some of the ideas top minds have thought up. This is 100 percent real! Google it!

Artificial satellites that transmit warning information for millennia, warning future generations which mountain peak is topped with yellow snow, so to speak. The guy who came up with this has a back-up plan: plants with information embedded in their DNA. The drawback to these ideas is obvious. If we’re smart enough to read a plant’s thoughts, we’ll probably know where the radiation is coming from.

Color-changing “ray cats.” A French author and Italian semiotician (sign expert) worked together on this idea. They figured we’d still want cats for pets in 10,000 years, so why not make some that change color or glow when they are too close to radioactive emissions?

Warning signs in a concentric pattern around the terminal location, with new signs going up that will help translate the old signs (which are not removed), until this game of telephone ends exactly how every game of telephone ends plus your skin melts off. Bonus!

And the only idea that doesn’t make a joke all by itself came from a Swiss physicist who said to just make it really, really hard to get into, so if in 10,000 years we’re knocked back to the Stone Age, we’ll just lack the technology to enter the impossible mystery box of decay and death with our sticks and stones.

Dentally Incorrect
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