S0 MEN, WHAT'S YOUR SCORE?
You make the bed...+1
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...-1
You leave the toilet seat up...-5
You go out to buy her breakfast to be served in bed...+5
In the snow...+8
But return with a six pack of beer...-5
And forget the breakfast...-25
You check out a suspicious noise at night...0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing...0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something...+5
You whack it with a six iron...+10
It’s her cat...-40
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party...0
You leave her to chat with a college drinking buddy…-2
Named Tiffany...-4
Tiffany is a dancer...-10
With breast implants...-18
HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday...0
You buy a card and flowers...0
You take her out to dinner...0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar...+1
Okay, it is a sports bar...-2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night...-3
And your face is painted the colors of your best team...-10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal...0
The pal is happily married...+1
The pal is single...-7
He drives a Ferrari...-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED)…-15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie...+2
You take her to a movie she likes...+4
You take her to a movie you hate...+6
You take her to a movie you like...-2
It’s called Death Cop 3...-3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans...-9
You told her it was a foreign film about orphans...-15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly...-15
You exercise to get rid of it...+10
You resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts...-30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.”... -800
THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding... -10
You reply, “Where?”...-35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your butt”...-100
Any other response...-20
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem: You listen, displaying a concerned expression...0
You listen, for over 30 minutes...+5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience...+50
You’re mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying, “Well, what do you think I should do?”...-50
You listen for 30 minutes without looking at the TV…+100
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep...-200