Dentally Incorrect

There's a phobia for everything. There's even a phobia for everything—panophobia—a general anxiety or terror that something bad is always right around the corner. Of course, in practice we run into patients every day who claim to suffer from dentophobia, a term that, like Merriam-Webster, you probably don't acknowledge either. So, next time your patients talk about being fearful of you, doc, refer to this sheet and give them some things to truly be afraid of.

Do chickens lead to panic-stricken moments in your life? Do their flapping feathers have you on the fritz? A truly "fowl" fear. Alektorophobia.

POP! Did reading that make your heart skip a beat? Welcome to the hell that is people living with the fear of balloons. This is serious. We're not just blowing hot air here. Globophobia.

They're green one day, yellow the next. Bruises appear even though you haven't moved them. In some countries, they hide under the alias "plantains." No one really knows much about this curved, edible enigma. Bananaphobia.

Here's one of the more ironically named fears whirling around in the dark of the psyche. For those of us who hide in the safety of four letter words and dare not venture beyond anything with too many syllables, comes the dread of long words. Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia.

Stare into this string of characters: o0o0o0o0o0o0o. Feel queasy, uneasy or otherwise gripped with an unnamed anxiety? Do you look at the inside texture of a honeycomb and feel your soul slipping away? This one is more common than you think. You may have a fear of holes! Trypophobia.

And for you doc: This web-based social anxiety hits even the most seasoned of docs. As constant users of Dentaltown who log in daily and know the ins and outs of every message board, one thing constantly alludes them. They are forever destined to never … ever … post! Lurkophobia.