I was taught how to juggle by my uncle on New Year's Eve one year when I was a kid, I can't remember the exact year, but I think it was around 1999 or 2000. One of the biggest concepts when you first learn how to juggle is that you don't start off throwing all 3 balls at once. You start with just one ball and you toss it up and catch it with your other hand. Back and forth with just the one ball.
Once you have that down, then you pick the second ball up, and hold one in each hand. You toss the first ball up and once it's at it's apex and starting to come down, you throw the second one. Rinse and repeat until you have that down. Only once you've mastered that can you go to the third ball and start juggling. It's a talent that once you learn, you don't forget how to do it and it just becomes second nature. Pretty soon you can talk to people while you juggle, you can throw a ball behind your back or underneath your leg and never skip a beat. Maybe you can even go on to juggling clubs, or four balls and really impress somebody.
Life is the same thing. It's learning how to juggle. And the better you become at juggling life's "balls", the better you become at handling everything life is going to throw at you (even extra balls that you weren't even juggling)!
Life luckily trains you the same way. Most of the time, it doesn't give you all the "balls" at once. You start with school as a kid; the first ball. School is your main priority and your only responsibility. You don't have to worry about paying your bills or fixing that leaking pipe in the basement. All you have to do is show up and get good grades in school.
Next is college. A little more responsibility; the second ball. You now have to buy and cook your own food, do your own laundry, wake yourself up for school etc... You may start "juggling" if you decide to find a job. So now you are balancing your school career with work and a personal life. Like juggling two balls instead of one, it's a struggle at first, but it's not too bad once you get the hang of it.
Now you are married, settled down, started your career, bought a house, and....
have a baby......
Now you are juggling; three balls, maybe four, or five...
And this isn't a game, this is your life.
How do you keep it going and prevent everything from crashing back down to Earth?
- You have to prioritize what is most important:
- Is your family first or is your career?
This question may sound like a no brainer, but you may not practice what you preach. If you find yourself at the office more than you are at home with your family, working long hours and nights focused on advancing in your career or getting that promotion, you can very easily put your family on the back burner without even knowing it. It actually takes effort and determination to keep your family priority #1.
Not only can you accidentally slip into the trap of putting your career before your family, but you can also end up putting your children ahead of your spouse. If you allow your children to be a priority over the relationship you have with your spouse, it can lead to resentment, drifting apart, and eventually divorce. Your spouse should always be your #1 relationship in your family, your children are second.
2. It's ok to not "feel the love" all the time:
When you have a child, some people have that instant connection and immediate love and passion for their newborn baby. Some people say they never knew what love was until they held their newborn baby for the first time. Others may feel quite the opposite. Some people have feelings of jealousy that the child is now mommy's main concern. You can also have feelings of animosity and anger that the baby is interfering with all your plans you had laid out for your life. It can be very frustrating....
And it's ok to have those feelings sometimes....it's completely normal.....
I know you love your job and you have a passion for what you do, whether it is dentistry or something else. But aren't there days where you don't want to go to wake up and go to work? Or days where you just can't wait to leave the office because you have plans right afterwards? What about the week before a big vacation or trip?
My point is....it's ok to have those same feelings towards your child. You still love them and wouldn't trade them for anything in the world; but that doesn't mean you don't look forward to the breaks and "days off". Like when grandma or grandpa comes and watches the baby so you and your spouse can get some errands ran or go out to dinner together. And I'm sure you have had days where you just count down the minutes until it's nap time or bedtime so you can finally sit on the couch and watch that show you've been waiting all week to watch.
No matter how good you are, when you are juggling, you are going to drop the ball eventually. You won't throw a ball exactly where you wanted to, a ball will slip through your hands, or you'll take your eye off of your focus point for one second and *CRASH*. What do we do???
Well....we pick up all the balls and start juggling again.
For more tips and strategies on business and life please check out my other blogs and podcasts available at http://dds-dad.blogspot.com/. Not all my posts are about dentistry, some are about the general principles of running a business, saving for retirement, keeping a positive mentality, and being the best parent and spouse you can be while having a full time career. I want to help you improve in ALL areas of life, not just what you do between people's nose and chin.