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The Savvy Dentist Podcast- with Dr Jesse Green
The Savvy Dentist Podcast- with Dr Jesse Green
Strategies to help ambitious dentists accelerate the growth of their practice so they have more patients, more profits, and less stress.
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jessegreen
jessegreen

6 Shortcuts to Resolving Conflict in Record Time

6 Shortcuts to Resolving Conflict in Record Time

8/9/2016 7:00:00 AM   |   Comments: 0   |   Views: 135
Conflict.

What does that word make you think?

Some people want to ignore conflict and hope it goes away. They take the “Bury Your Head In The Sand” approach.

They know it doesn’t work, but they dislike conflict. Truth be told they’re a little afraid of it.

Then there are the people who love a good argument. They’re happy to defend their corner because they know they’re right.

Unfortunately, being ‘right’ isn’t great for relationships. It can permanently damage rapport and lead to further problems.

Workplace conflict is also a big drain your business. A 2008 study questioned 5,000 full-time employees in nine countries around Europe and the Americas.

They found that 25% of people call in sick or stay away from work because of workplace conflict. The primary causes of workplace conflict are personality clashes and warring egos (49%), followed by stress (34%) and heavy workloads (33%).

The primary causes of workplace conflicts are personality clashes and warring egos (49%), followed by stress (34%) and heavy workloads (33%).

The study also found that the average employee spends 2.1 hours a week dealing with conflict. That’s about one day a month!

Unfortunately, there’s a big discrepancy between how well managers think they handle conflict, and how well others think they handle it. Nearly a third (31%) of managers think they handle disagreements well, but only 22% of non-mangers agree.

Nearly a third (31%) of managers think they handle disagreements well, but only 22% of non-mangers agree.

Given the impact this can have on your business, it’s important to handle conflict effectively.So how exactly do you do that?

So how exactly do you do that?

Well, I’ve found there are six keys to managing conflict effectively.


1. Start Now

The most important thing you can do is handle situations before they escalate. All too often we think there’s a little problem that will blow over.But it never does.

But it never does.

Ignoring small problems is like ignoring a cavity because little problems fester. And pretty soon you need more than just a filling.

So start while the problem is small. Small conflicts are easier to handle and more likely to be smoothed out.


2. Focus On The Finale

Begin with the end in mind. That is, establish what outcome you’re aiming for, and stay focused on that.

If you’re handling a personality conflict at work, for example, be clear on the outcome you want.

Generally, you want to find a way for both parties to work together.

Maybe you have two DA’s and there’s constant conflict about the readiness of each of your two surgeries. There the ongoing ‘he said / she said’ about who left what where.

Instead of getting bogged down in the issue, you need to keep in mind that the result you want is a harmonious workplace and work to that end.


3. Concentrate On Win-Win

Have you heard the story of the two sisters who were fighting over an orange? They both desperately wanted the piece of fruit and each argued intensely that they needed it.

But it became apparent that they could both get their needs met.

You see, one sister wanted the juice of the orange, and one wanted the rind.

The story demonstrates how important it is to understand the real needs of each of the people involved.

If we take another look at the conflict between our two DA’s we can see a win-win solution would be to make each DA responsible for one surgery.

That way there’s no arguments about things being out of place, as they each have their own clear area of responsibility.


4. Listen To Confirm

As crazy as it may sound, most of us are not very good at listening.We think we are, but the people who are talking aren’t always convinced they’ve been heard.

We think we are, but the people who are talking aren’t always convinced they’ve been heard.

When you’re handling conflict it’s critical that you understand both sides. In order to do that, you need to listen to confirm.That means feeding back what you think they’ve just said. When you’re not used to doing this, it can seem a little weird.

That means feeding back what you think they’ve just said. When you’re not used to doing this, it can seem a little weird.

You might think “won’t they think I’m stupid, repeating what they just told me?”

And the answer is no, they won’t. They’ll be relieved that you’re listening so intently that you want to be sure you heard them right.


5. Suspend Judgement

This is really challenging, but it’s important to suspend emotion and judgement when you’re dealing with conflict.

You need to keep a level head and just look at the situation. Instead of getting caught up in who’s at fault, or how frustrated you might feel, you need to be objective.

Think, “How can we make the situation work? What can we do to solve this problem?”

This will keep you focused on finding the solution, rather than adding your emotional fuel to the fire.


6. Avoid Blame

When dealing with conflict it’s critical to avoid blame, because it’s not healthy or constructive.

Allocating blame is not going to help you get to a viable solution quickly, it’s only going to result in judgement and guilt.

That’s not to say that you can’t tell the other person your side of the story. The best way to do this, and avoid blame, is by using i-messages.

I-messages help you change the unacceptable behaviour of the person while still preserving their self-esteem. They’re a respectful way of communicating a problem or concern.

An i-message helps you give the other person an understanding of your side of the situation. It allows them to see the issue through your eyes, which helps you both work on a solution.


The Key To Resolving Conflict

These techniques will help you resolve conflict effectively and even elegantly. But there’s something missing.

You see, there’s something that you need to find inside yourself so you can handle conflict well.

It’s something we don’t often use.

It’s something society needs more of.

It’s something that is worth the effort every time you drag it out and dust it off.

That thing is your courage. As Winston Churchill once said:

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”
You need to have the courage to face conflict before it escalates.

You need to have the courage to set aside any ideas of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ and instead search for solutions.

You need to have the courage to suspend judgement, avoid blame and listen calmly.

So the next time conflict rears its’ head in your world, dig deep and find the courage to deal with it effectively.

 


This post first appeared on drjessegreen.com.
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 About Jesse

Dr Jesse Green is a dentist, entrepreneur, best-selling author and renowned thought leader in the field of dental practice management.

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This post first appeared on drjessegreen.com.
This post first appeared on drjessegreen.com.
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